yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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