So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
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