If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize