So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?