Just cropdusted the office
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY