he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
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Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
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If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.