i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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