She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
