we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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