Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
