oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize