I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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