i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
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On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
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Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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