Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
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