Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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