Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize