The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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