I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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