Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
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Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
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I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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