dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
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