piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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