he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
the day after is always just damage control
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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