guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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