your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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