Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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