If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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