Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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