A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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