so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize