hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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