You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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