So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
