hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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