You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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