I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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