yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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