Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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