i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
