we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
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help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
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I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend