it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
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He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means