his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.