that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea