Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high