Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me