Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She told me I should be a condom model.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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