I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.