its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The best revenge is premature balding
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice