That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize