Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.