Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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