I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize