You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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