Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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