I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize