why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
this boner is exhausting
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
