Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize