you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
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I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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