Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
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I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
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my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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