You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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