plz talk dirty to me
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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